You Can't Win Fantasy with Shonn Greenes

And I know you can't. That's why I suck. I KNOW that having Shonn Greene on my roster is a terrible idea. It is every year. But you get to those late rounds and...hey, Shonn Greene is still there! HE'S A STARTING RUNNING BACK! Bulk of his team's carries!

And that is the WORST kind of player for your team. Because he fucks up the entire roster.

The problem with Shonn Greene is that he does have the occasional week where he blows up. This year he put up 30 against New England. He's the 15th rated RB all year. But that's only because volume. Shonn Greene makes you start him every fucking week because you don't know when he's going to finally have that good game. 4 points, 3 points, 7 points, FUCK HIM. I benched him the week of the Indy game. I hate him. I hate everything he stands for. I want to quit being a starting NFL running back. I hope he wins Powerball and quits playing NFL football.

Shonn Greene hamstrings you. Almost every week, there's a guy on your bench that's a better option. But nooooooo, Shonn Greene might blow up this week! Dwayne Bowe is a Shonn Greene. Ryan Mathews is quickly becoming a Shonn Greene. I have all three. I got all three late. They screamed value. THEY ARE NOT VALUABLE. Rashard Mendenhall has worked himself into a Shonn Greene.

I picked up Bryce Brown but quickly dropped him so Heat could have him. It was kind of a dick move to pick him up (Heat asked me about running backs and I didn't think he'd be available), but then I figured, ehhh, I have starting running backs and I don't even know if McCoy will be out until it's too late (then they go and rule him out on Saturday) and I can't really use him so I'll release him and let Heat have him. I mean, I had Donald Brown and Shonn Greene! Surely one of them will at least do what Bryce Brown might do.

Fuck. Me. With Percy Harvin and Rob Gronkowski out, I'm pretty much done. And it's all because I drafted Shonn Greene.

NEVER AGAIN