Conference Championship Picks

Colin Kaepernick has the instruction manual to a Samsung flatscreen tattooed on his arm.

Alright, only two more weeks of NFL action left before we have to bet on hockey, basketball and WNBA games. So let's get right to it.

Don't forget those piping hot Ultra Kickball predictions. Yeah Sedlak, we're taking over this year. Your little casino can suck it.

SAN FRANCISCO @ ATLANTA +4

Yinz know I'm gonna ride that SF pain train into Atlanta. Atlanta sucks in the postseason. In the regular season. And last week, they put together a solid first half before almost Atlanta-ing the game away in historic fashion. I'm supposed to back that over the Kaepernick Express? Giving only 4? I had thought that this game would be close to a double-digit spread and as such, I'm all over SF here. Kaep may not run for 183 again, but he won't need to with Matt Ryan and the Strugglecity Falcons trying to score points on Patrick Willis and co.

That red marker hanging from Harbaugh's neck must be the pen used to sign the contract with the Devil. I punched my ticket on the SF train a while ago. It makes being a Raiders fan even more difficult seeing the crimson and gold queers of the North Bay dominate.  Atlanta's luck will run out in the second half again. 

Meat's Pick: SF -4, $25
Heat's Pick: SF -4, $25

BALTIMORE +9 @ NEW ENGLAND

Kind of the opposite of the above. I don't expect Baltimore to put it together again and get a Manning out of Brady. But I do expect them to lose by less than 9. Could I see Baltimore actually winning? Well, they beat New England earlier in this year, they played them tough last year in the AFCCG and came a Lee Evans drop from the Super Bowl, so...yeah. I can see them beating a Patriots team that really is only still good because Tom Brady is still alive. So I'll ride with Baltimore. COME ON RAVENS, LOSE BY 6!!!

I'm gonna have to go against Meat, which is not something anyone likes to do. While watching the game last week I remember asking, "Is NE really that good?". Unfortunately, they are. I hate betting against a spread, but I think NE can cover even without Gronk.  

Meat's Pick: Baltimore +9, $25
Heat's Pick: NE -9, $25

So there you have it. Get out that fake money and place your fake bets. Tonight or tomorrow night, Meat and I will play with these teams on Madden 2013 (which sucks without a fantasy draft). Depending on who wins in that simulation, might change my picks.