WOOO FOOTBALL WEEK 12

Image is second result for search of "football yeah". No idea who it belongs to. Good for them.

I'm down $25 and have lost motivation to write for some reason. Weirdly lethargic. I need adderall.

Anyway, here's my bets this week:



6.5 POINT TEASER: Detroit -2.5 over Tampa and Denver/NE OVER 47.5, -120

I think Tampa could win this game, but I do think Detroit will. So I'm going to take Tampa straight up to cover 9 points, but at 2.5? Basically hedging my bets with a large possibility to 'middle' this one. I think Denver/NE over 47.5 is basically automatic. They gon' be flingin' it.




STEELERS +1.0 @ CLEVELAND, -110

I think the Steelers win. Cleveland's defense is awesome but, one great CB isn't going to shut down the Steelers offense like it does the Cowboys or Lions of the world, as even though Antonio Brown is clearly their best WR, no one receiving threat makes this sad offense go. That and Cleveland's offensive showing last week suggests to me that with minimal pick-sixes, Pittsburgh should win this one and keep alive their hopes at getting blown out in the wild card round.



BEARS +1.0 @ ST. LOUIS -105

Same as above - I think the slight road dog wins. St. Louis has looked capable like, two or three times this season. They are coming off of a bye, sure, but I still think they are better at losing than they are at winning. Chicago has been surprisingly competent with Josh McCown and he's facing Kellen Clemens soooo just bet on it. Don't actually watch it.



6-POINT TEASER: DALLAS +8.5 @ NYG, OVER 40.5, -110

Not sure why I teased this, as I think Dallas will win straight up. NYG has put together the least-impressive four game winning streak I've ever seen...seriously, struggle to win v. Minnesota, 15-7 win v. Eagles and Matt Barkley/crippled Vick, struggle haaaard to win at home v. Oakland, and then a win over Scott Tolzein and co. The Cowboys are like the only healthy, decent quarterbacked team they've faced in a month. I guess I figured that over 40.5 is a lock as it will rain fumbles and pick-sixes, but get on Dallas in this one.




SAN DIEGO +5.5 @ KANSAS CITY, -110

I think the Chargers "surprise" the world and beat KC straight up. San Diego is basically the second decent team they'll face to this point in the season that actually has a healthy QB. I don't think KC is that good so I'll take the points.




TAMPA BAY +9.0 @ DETROIT, -110

I also think the Bucs have a good shot here. And Detroit always lets me down. And this week they are the consensus survivor favorite, meaning they WILL fuck you if you pick them. Bucs should at least keep this one within a TD. Detroit hasn't actually beaten anybody by 7+ all season.


Let's get it.

Stuck in a rut

Damn it, I suck now. 

INDY -3 OVER TENNESSEE (@ TENN) -115

Push.



6-POINT TEASER: NE +8.5 @ CAR and OVER 40.0 -110

Up $9! You're looking at one guy who couldn't give a fuck less about "the call". 



6-POINT TEASER: GREEN BAY +11 @ NYG and CINCINNATI +0.5 over CLEVE -110

Really appreciate that late pick-6, Tolzein. Good job, my man. 



6.5 POINT TEASER: AZ -0.5 @ JAX and DENVER -2.0 v. KC -120

Easy. +$7.



6.5 POINT TEASER: INDY +3.5 and DETROIT +5 @ PITT -120

The Steelers pulling away late on the strength of Jim Schartz'z insane fake field goal call does me in, but I can't complain. Thanks for the gift, Jim! -$3.

And finally, a loss on the big teaser.

AZ -0.5 @ JAX
INDY +3.5 @ TENN
DET +5.0 @ PITT
GB +11.5 @ NYG
GB/NYG OVER 35.5

That leaves me at $-13 for the week and -$25 over the last two. Gotta pick it up this week. 

Week 11's DRIPPING MOIST ACTION

Ok, I'm down $12 after last week. Let's get it back, $10 per bet, starting with:


INDY -3 OVER TENNESSEE (@ TENN) -115

$100 wins $187, if you bet real actual monies.

Indianapolis has one terrible game and a line that should almost be double digits is 3. This seems a pretty healthy game to at least push (it started at -3.5). Ryan Fitzpatrick is leading the charge for the Titans. Read that again. Ryan Fitzpatrick is at the helm.

Bet against Ryan Fitzpatrick.



6-POINT TEASER: NE +8.5 @ CAR and OVER 40.0 -110

I think New England wins this one straight-up, and I think a relatively healthy number of points will be scored (MNF teams seem to be flingin' it this year), so I'll certainly take NE and eight and a half and over a middling total of 40. Seems like one of those 27-24 types. My only fear is Bad Cam showing up and sabotaging everything.



6-POINT TEASER: GREEN BAY +11 @ NYG and CINCINNATI +0.5 over CLEVE -110

I'm liking the 6-point teasers as they have similar vigs to the straight up bets, and this one allows you to cross 10 off for GB and get the Bengals as a pick 'em in a game they should win. You can make a living at 60% hit rate on 6-point teasers (betting $100 and hitting 60% would leave you with $115). I think GB will easily keep it within 10 of the Eli Manning Pick-Six Express what with Tolzein actually practicing this week like he's going to play football, so I'm quite comfortable throwing them in with Cincy here. This is a huge game for the Bengals, at home, and they need to win it. As a Steeler fan, I hope they fuck it up, but I'm being pragmatic here.



6.5 POINT TEASER: AZ -0.5 @ JAX and DENVER -2.0 v. KC -120

Went with 6.5 instead of 6 so I could get AZ as a straight win. They should murder the Jags, that win they had last week was fluky as absolute fuck and while I have nightmares anytime I bet on Carson Palmer, I think this is a game they win like 95% of the time. It's my survivor pick this week, as Jaxmas has come and gone and I can now start backing Jags opponents. I wanted to tease this with Houston straight-up over Oakland, but the site wouldn't let me include that one in the teaser. As such, I'll throw Denver in because I think they'll win this going away. In hindsight, I should have thrown Denver into a 6 point teaser since the half-point is meaningless, but whatever.



6.5 POINT TEASER: INDY +3.5 and DETROIT +5 @ PITT -120

Do you see either of these teams losing by more than a field goal, if you see them losing period? I don't, give me my monayyyy!



This week's large teaser (5 team, 6.5 pt teaser, +350 odds) with all of my week 11 favorites and an over to tie it together:

AZ -0.5 @ JAX
INDY +3.5 @ TENN
DET +5.0 @ PITT
GB +11.5 @ NYG
GB/NYG OVER 35.5

Uh-oh. I have a lot riding on road teams.

Oh well, these saucy picks are guaranteed to pay big!

SON OF A...

Way to come back with a bang, Meat.

Was away all week, no bets on week 10. Week 9's results:

7-POINT TEASER: ATLANTA +14.5 and ATL/CAR OVER 37.0

Loss, ATL is a joke. - $10


ATLANTA +7.5 over CAROLINA

See above. -$20 cummulative 


7 POINT TEASER: NEW ENGLAND (+0) and PIT/NE OVER 37.0

Woo! A win! I'll round the payout up to $8. -$12


7 POINT TEASER: MIAMI +10 and BUFFALO +10.5 and CLEVELAND +10 and HOUSTON +10

Thank goodness for this one. Paid out at two to one, so I get $20 back. +$8



7 POINT TEASER: SEATTLE -10 and GREEN BAY -3.5

Both easy losses. -$2



U. of FLORIDA +2.5 over GEORGIA

Georgia by...fucking 3. -$12 for the week. Will be better today!


SEASON TOTAL: -$12